A Sad Day in Seattle

There were a couple shootings today. I was hearing different stories at work. First it was a shooter in West Seattle. Then I was told the shooting happened around 65th and Roosevelt (nowhere near that part of the city), then there was a shooting downtown. It seemed crazy that multiple shooters would choose today of all days to act. I figured I get the real story later, because at the time I was able to catch up on news, it was still developing. By the time I was getting home from work the confusion had been all sorted out, and it's actually incredibly sad.
What I've gathered is that a mentally unstable man went to a neighborhood bar in the University district and shot 5 people (four of which died), fled into downtown, carjacked a woman's car by shooting her in the head, continued into West Seattle (despite the name, it's south of downtown, and downtown is south of the U district) and ultimately shot himself dead.
Apparently his own family recognized him in security camera footage, and they weren't surprised. Turns out Washington's social safety net is TERRIBLE, in that they intend for people with instabilities to try and integrate in society, but with the help of lots of social workers and programs, however, there is next to no funding for these programs and state employees*. Washington is, like all but 1 or 2 of the states in the union, totally fucking broke. And, OF COURSE, in a state where Microsoft, Amazon, and innumerable other tech companies and their rich ass CEOs live, the social welfare programs are so bankrupt that someone like this goes completely through the cracks/unchecked until he's able to actually harm people. Six people are dead (including the shooter) because rich people don't want to pay income tax.**
I love Seattle, but our inability to fund basic needs and services is outlandish. I believe it was the Washington Supreme Court that ruled that the state had fucked up by not funding education like it promised to. And we can't get taxes through because in the past few years a law was passed making it necessary to get a 2/3 majority to make laws such as tax increases, which another court (not the supreme one, it should be headed there next) declared unconstitutional.
And half the time the fucking taxes are regressive, because with no income taxes, poor people pay a shit ton more proportionally than the wealthy. And then there's this like, incomprehensible group of people who wouldn't approve an income tax that they don't even earn enough to qualify for because of the "slippery slope" argument. DIAF.
I am already thankful that I have healthcare, employment, and a residence. I'm glad I don't have to worry about educating children or accessing any social programs to make my life work. But I could be killed by someone with a mental illness because the state couldn't afford enough social workers, so enjoy your fucking champagne you rich assholes. I hope you choke on it.

*Since we're supposed to be supporting these peoples' integration, it's incredibly difficult to commit someone to an institution against their will.
**Granted I know there are other reasons to be sure, but I like hating on the rich just as much as anyone else.


So James never responded to my text, so around 1:30 (today) I called him and left a voicemail. He texted me a little later and we went back and forth a couple times. He told me what he was up to, and I told him I wished him the best.
So that was good! Now I can focus all my energies back to thinking up back-handed comments and veiled insults to hurl at my sister's rebound when I eventually have to meet him.

Throwing Down Gauntlets

Extremely long story short, my sister divorced her husband of about 13 years. They were married for half of my life. I haven't spoken to my ex-brother-in-law since September, at a family wedding, I think a month before my sister told me they were splitting.
It was big news, and even as distanced as I was from James, I still knew him and lived with him, and went on vacation with him, and had him at my fucking college graduation. He was part of my life.
He disappeared from Facebook (or should I say disappeared me from his Facebook?). That's fine. I'm okay with it and it certainly isn't the first time I've been cleared from someone's roster. It hurt initially, because it was like being kicked aside without even acknowledging our history. I don't need to even have a long, drawn-out conversation with him- it wasn't my marriage. I can accept him moving on and having his own life. I want him to move on and have his own life, and to even be happier than he once was with my sister. For all the things that annoyed that shit out of me about him, I always knew that deep down he was a good guy. Even my sister would say "he's a great husband, he should just be someone else's husband."
So when I saw that he'd kicked me out of his life, even in such a superficial way as un-friending me on FB, I took it harder than I thought.
I didn't do anything about it until tonight. I wasn't worried that I would act emotional or try to be mean-spirited. I wanted to just move on. But today I decided that I at least get to say goodbye. If anything he ever said to me was true, then he can at least grant me some parting words.
So I pulled up the number I had for him, and I sent him a text about 15 minutes ago. If his schedule is anything like what it is now, he's asleep and will be until early tomorrow morning. So maybe mine will be the first thing he reads. Now don't get too excited. All it says is "is this James? Because this is Tami," and I left it at that. I didn't want to go on and on in case someone else had the number now. I don't know what he'll do if he gets it. I just need some closure. I don't really want to ask my sister for contact information, though I think she'd understand my motives.
I just get to wait and see.

A New Goal in Life

Neil Gaiman + H.P. Lovecraft stories + my bedtime.

That is, I want Neil Gaiman to read H.P. Lovecraft while I drift off into sleep.

His charming British voice would soothe me to sleep with tales of insanity, incomprehensible geometry, and things whose names we don't say aloud for they may be listening.
And then I'd have like, weird ass fucking dreams that I'd get to tell everyone about: "so last night I totally dreamed I hooked up with the multi-dimensional thing of chaos and nightmares. It was bizarre." It'd be awesome!


The Ides of March!

Happy birthday to you, my lj. It's been eight years now, woo!

Writer's Block: Million Dollar Smile

What is the most amount of money the tooth fairy has given you for a tooth?

How the fuck would I remember that?

Writer's Block: Star Trek

If you could visit anywhere in the solar system, where would it be?

Omg omg this is so hard to answer. My very first thought would be to fly through Jupiter, though that'd take for-fucking-ever, but I'd definitely want to roll through some of it. Then I thought about flying around Saturn, and then going onto Venus, provided I wouldn't immediately be crushed to death WHILE bursting into flames (it's like 900 degrees there and the pressure is intense. Though I think I read that it's also really dark there because the sunlight can't really penetrate through the thick ass clouds?). But how could I not also go to Europa and check under the ice?! Or Titan to see the lakes of liquid methane?! There are so many awesome things to see in our solar system, I'd also want to see Neptune and Uranus, because they always look too fucking beautiful in pictures, glowing blue and shit. And how sweet would it be to be able to get up close and person with the sun, like in Sunshine? (That movie for real almost gave me like, a fucking panic attack it was so amazing. Visually, I mean. Not that I don't like the movie, but I love the universe so damn much that just the idea of being so close to our sun kind of made me want to hyperventilate a little, I don't really know why. And yes, I was totally sober.)

Writer's Block: Back to the Future

Given the choice of time travel, would you go back in time or forward?

I'm gonna have to go with Louis CK on this one and say forward is the only way to go.


So I was in the shower seriously thinking about the current physical problem of neutrinos. I almost thought I'd solved it (because I think I am an idiot savant or something), but it turns out that neutrinos have mass. A small, insignificant amount of mass, that, while probably BARELY makes it above zero, is still not zero, and thanks to Einstein, means that a neutrino theoretically should not be able to move faster than light.
See, the thing is, apparently CERN's done some experiments where the neutrinos they've tracked have moved faster than light. Since energy equals mass times the speed of light squared, and mass increases with speed, you'd need an infinite amount of energy to move that fast, because all of matter are just fat fucks compared to a photon.
Except! Somehow neutrinos are not. And I have yet to come across an explanation for this, I probably need to do some googling to see what's going on there.
Actually I'm just going to go over to Starts with a Bang. brb

Writer's Block: Tough Choices

If forced to give up one, which would you choose: love, friendship, or family?

Considering how generally asexual I am, giving up love would be no problem.

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May 2012


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